There is a moment that comes for a victim when they just know. They know that it is now or never. They know that this is more than likely the only opportunity they may ever have to escape. There is no time limit. The number of years it took for the victim to leave does not compare to the fact that he or she survived! Because, as a survivor I can tell you, all you want is for the person you originally met to return. You didn’t fall in love with the monster, you fell in love with its disguise. You fell in love with all that charm that was poured on you, the wooing effect. You deny the fact of knowing that the facade you met will never return. During the whole relationship, you try and change yourself, to keep your partner happy. But they are never satisfied. You change, when it isn’t you that needed the change. The abuser, who is so insecure with themselves cannot admit to it, so they put it all on you. It is a way to stroke his or her ego and insecurities.
I wrote several blogs before, about this moment. How something inside of you awakens(I refer to it as a tiger in one blog). All of your senses come back to you. Life returns back to the lifeless body. All the control and power you gave to your abuser seems to get sucked out of them and returns to you. You just know that NOW is the time to go.
For some, it may have been a few years, others ten or more. However, the important thing is that you made it! YOU SURVIVED! You followed your gut instinct, you knew it was at that time that you had to go. You “woke up” from your nightmare. However you planned your escape, whether contacting family, friends or an organization. It was successful. Let me say I am proud of you for making it this far.
This is the moment that you have been waiting for. The moment where you get YOU back. The moment where you get your LIFE back. This is the moment of NEW BEGINNINGS! This moment is the moment of the rest of your life! This is the moment where you will no longer be a victim, but you will become a survivor!
It was a tough journey, an unexpected one that you never thought you would experience. But do not beat yourself up over it. Always remind yourself that none of it was your fault! You NEVER deserved ANY of it!
When you are ready, share your story, use you experience for the good. Help others. Take it from me, this is the best decision I made; sharing my story and experiences, blogging to encourage and empower other survivors is the greatest thing I can ever do. I have found so much happiness in the connections that I have made and continue making. There is nothing better than knowing that you are NOT alone. TRUST ME; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
To those who may currently be in an abusive relationship, you also are not alone. If you would like to reach out (which I hope you do) please go on my “Contact Me’ page, and you can contact me through the outlets there. By whichever form you feel safest. I will always answer and reply as soon as I can, which is typically that same day. You do not have to worry, I am the ONLY person who checks the email, DM’s and private messages and they are all linked to my phone. I urge you to listen to your instinct, it will never steer you wrong. There are tons of outlets that you can turn to as well (many are mentioned throughout my other blogs). Also, your family will be there for you with open arms, I know one of the things an abuser says is that no one loves you like him or her. But they are so wrong! For one family NEVER stops loving you. Secondly, he or she doesn’t love you, because if he or she did love you, they would NEVER do these things to you.
One thing I ask that you always remember; is that you are not to blame! You are not doing anything wrong that allows any of this to happen to you.